Restoration Project - I Am Loved

With this title I could talk for days. The ways God has shown me that I am loved is countless. I just can't measure it. It's in the little things. It's in the big things. But I wanted to share specifically what God had drawn me to about a month ago.

Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress....

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.

You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy.

They rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest....

The zeal of the Lord almighty will accomplish this. - Isaiah 9

If you were to hang around me long enough you would discover that I get really excited about "researching." It could be what is the absolute best new place we need to try for dinner or where to take a weekend trip and most recently finding the deeper meaning in scripture.

I came across this scripture on the same day I prayed for Peace to Resistance and also the day I further applied my life to sowing seed to bear fruit (which may be a post in the future... there's so much there I'm still unearthing it all... hehe, did you see what I did there?) I digress. This is important because this scripture says that I am going to rejoice before my God as people rejoice when harvest has come around.

I don't know a lot about farming. I know I love my local farmer. I love farmers markets. I love fresh produce. Especially tomatoes and garlic and basil... I know that harvest can also be applied to the time to pick grapes for wine and delicious grape jelly. I have been blessed to be able to do this with friends. Let me tell you, it was so much fun. I may have climbed a wall and scaled a tree to get a cluster of grapes. I might have got a little excited. The point is, I know harvest time is exciting. It is when you get to see the seeds you've planted bear fruit. It is a happy time.

God is promising here that the people who were in distress will be removed from their gloom and instead given something to rejoice about. How? The zeal of the Lord almighty will accomplish this. 

So then I wondered, do I really know what zeal means? What is the definition?

Zeal is the fervor or tireless devotion for a person, cause, or ideal and determination in its furtherance; diligent enthusiasm; powerful interest. Synonyms are intensity and passion. 

Sounds like the God I've been coming to know.

I found a definition from a catholic dictionary, "The vehement movement of one who loves to secure the object of his love. In it's religious sense it is applied solely to the zeal inspired by the love of God, to the ardent endeavors and works under taken to promote His glory."

I looked up the word vehement. I'll be honest, I didn't know the definition of this one whatsoever.

Vehement: Forceful energy, powerful, intensely emotional. Deeply felt. Forcibly expressed. Passionate.

See any familiar words? How about powerful and passionate.

This is our God. God's love for me and you is passionate, "a tireless devotion." I believe the definition from the catholic dictionary was referring more to the actions of His followers. But we have to remember that we love because He first loved us. God is love. So if we are actively pursuing others into this relationship with Christ it's because He inspired us to. We are mimicking the character of our Lord. I know He moves to secure us, the object of His love.

I just love hearing about God's intense love. (That's a lot of love!) I enjoy it so much I forget that there's promise for reaping here. That harvest is coming. My prayers and actions I've been planting are going to sprout of some glorious blessings. Not because of the work that I've done, but because of God's powerful love for me.

During this love fest I came across this scripture. (I told you, God was talking to me, it was all I could do to take notes fast and accurately).

Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. - 2 Corinthians 9:10

I think this is amazing. Simply because of his vehement love for us! He gives more than I can even think to ask for. You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. - Ephesians 3:20

Hopefully you are as excited as me. This is incredible. God loves us so much that anything we ask or pray for He will increase simply because He loves to bless us! Because He's passionately chasing after us trying to secure our love. A love that is secure does not go anywhere. Something that is secure holds strong even when it is shaken. He longs to strengthen us spiritually. He wants to see us succeed. He has a determination in our furtherance. So He blesses us abundantly more than we can dream so that we know that we are His and there's no where better. Even during the waiting season. Even when the rain isn't coming and it looks like there's not a chance this will be the year. Because of His generous blessings in the past we will have faith to hold on. We are secure.

Photo Credit: incourage.me

It just makes me smile so big. So truly blessed for His undeserving love. Even though I fail and even though I fail Him, He loves me with that same zeal that He loves me with when I get it right. None of us deserve it but He gives us all the same forgiveness and grace.

I am praying you see all the hope of promise here. No matter what your season may look like right now. If you are waiting, if the ground is parched and all seems impossible, remember who your God is. He is mightier than any and He is above all. He is promising you, right here, right now, that there is a season of blessings ahead. You are going to harvest far more than you prayerfully requested. He is going to amaze you. He loves you and He loves to bless you because of that crazy love. He is waiting until the perfect moment to sprout your harvest. Don't lose hope! A great light is coming.

Love,
S

We Were Like Those Who Dreamed

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,

we were like those who dreamed.

Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

"The Lord has done great things for them"

The Lord has done great things for us,

and we are filled with joy.

Restore our fortunes, Lord,

like streams in the Negev.

Those who sow with tears

will reap with songs of joy.

Those who go out weeping,

carrying seed to sow,

will return with songs of joy,

carrying sheaves with them.

~Psalm 126

I absolutely adore this psalm. I "discovered" it on Easter Sunday. I didn't participate in Easter dinner. Honestly, I didn't feel up for it. Instead I drove to Newport (or the beach, if you're not from RI) after church to just reflect on things and to pray. I found a spot to stare out at the ocean and opened my bible. I flipped around a little bit until I stopped and found this psalm which I read aloud.

My prayers, every thing I asked for, hoped for, dreamed for, cried for - felt as if God was affirming they were received with this psalm. I just love this! (Did I say that already? Forgive me! I really enjoy it.)

We were like those who dreamed... To receive blessings, answers to prayer, don't we just look like a bunch of dreamers? Awe-struck, peaceful, content, joyous? That's how we feel again when the Lord answers our prayers. Our mouths will be filled with laughter and our tongues with songs of joy. I believe this is not only when we receive our answers but also when we lift up our prayers. How joyous it is to know He hears our petitions and will respond? 

"In everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests by made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them." The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. (Emphasis my own). Others will also see our blessings. Others will delight in the good works of the Lord and will proclaim how good He is. I love to put the emphasis on this. The Lord has done great things for us. Because to me that speaks not just in the future when we receive our answers and blessings but also of this very present time. When we can look back and say he has been good and faithful to us.

Because of this assurance from the past we can be filled with joy in the present time. Not only because He answered our past prayers, but because we know He will answer our present prayers in the future. 

"And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." -Matthew 21:22

This is what fills us with joy. This knowledge. Other translations say "And we are glad." Not only are we FILLED with joy but we can outwardly show it because we are glad! That brings it back to the point that others will see and believe!

Those who sow with tears shall reap with songs of joy... Blessings, friends! When we tearfully pray, we are sowing blessings that will reap joy for us. This was a big deal for me that day and continues to be to this day. Our tears are not wasted. They do not fall by the wayside. 

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." -Psalm 56:8 

God sees our suffering and promises to restore us with songs of joy. 

"Return to the stronghold, You prisoners of hope. Even today I declare that I will restore double to you." -Zechariah 9:12

Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow... Another version says 'He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing.' That's more like me. Continually crying in prayer (seed for sowing). I like in this version that instead of "carrying" the seed to sow, it is "bearing" seed for sowing. Sometimes it feels like we are just enduring one pain after another. Bearing exemplifies just how heavy that seed is that we are carrying. 

But take heart!

Will return with songs of joy,carrying sheaves with them or as the NKJV states; 'Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.' All our prayers will come back to us. There is no doubt. One way or another. It may not look like what we prayed for but God promises it will be better than we could have imagined. We go out carrying our prayers and come back carrying our blessings. We reap what we sow and if we sow our prayers in earnest expectation then we can be glad to know we will receive answers to our prayers.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. -Ephesians 3:20

Photo Credit: Pinterest

This was my hope. On a Sunday where hope was resurrected almost 2000 years ago. I prayed He would do the same for me. He has. He will continue to do so. I pray that this has restored a hope inside of you, that it has rekindled your faith as it did for me. God is so good. Keep on praying, keep on hoping and believing. Meanwhile, there is joy in the waiting. God will answer your prayers soon and you will find yourself laughing and singing. Returning back to your old self with songs of joy.

Love,

S

Restoration Project - Planting

In one of my recent journal entries I wrote "If God is collecting my tears, He's going to need a bigger jar." This pretty much sums up my past few weeks. I've cried some really ugly tears... but in the ugly mess of my brokenness there's been so much healing too. Right now it feels like a spiritual battle in my heart & mind. I am trying to let His truth become my truth and trying to cast out all the lies that began taking root a long time ago and have spread.

It reminds me of 'The Parable of the Weeds'; In this parable the enemy comes at night and sows weeds along with a man's good seed that he's planted. When he awakes he finds that weeds have been mixed in with his good harvest. I've had some pretty amazing things planted in my heart...but the thing is, it's mixed in with the weeds that have been there taking root. Some days I receive such a hope of promise and then the next morning I wake up feeling defeated because of a dream I had (or sometimes for no reason that I can recall at all). So where does it come from?

"The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?' 'An enemy did this,' he replied. -Matthew 13:27-28

Yup, while I'm sleeping, when 'it's dark' or I'm not guarding my heart, the enemy comes and plants the weeds. I have had some thoughts come to me lately that I have NEVER considered and it's just so frustrating. I've been speaking God's word against them, I'm happy to say that in this moment I can't recall the specific examples and I am so thankful for that.

Once God's word is firmly planted in my heart I know I'll be able to rip out the weeds so much easier. I just need time to let His love grow in my heart. So this way I can tell the difference between lies and truth without a shadow of doubt. Some days are sunnier than others. But I think just like anything else that's planted, I need the rain as much as I need the sun. It's rained a lot lately, heavy tears have watered God's word for growing. Like the trees that bloom flowers before exploding into bright green trees, I know I'm on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough.

One of the things I wrote recently; "What hurts more than the death of the dream is the sacrifice I've made with my hope. I hung onto that hope and belief. I believed like a crazy person that I would see restoration in this situation. The vision that I believed was from God is now a fraud. Simply too much to bear."

Yet, I need to remember that my feelings are not always truth. That just because something feels too far gone doesn't mean it is. With God all things are possible. I'm in this season for a reason and I'm learning every day that I still have so much to learn. So I'm pressing into his word. I'm digging in to find the deeper meaning. Instead of skimming the top of many scriptures I am trying to dig in to a few. What I have found is that they've been so vital in my dependence on Him.

Last week I had a tough drive into work. I really don't think I should have been driving but by the grace of God, He got me there safely. When I pulled into the lot I sat there for a minute even though I was running late. I said to God that at least I can say I tried. At least I know that as soon as I saw a need for improvement I put in all the effort I could, in as many different ways as I could, to make things work. I realize at this point it's completely out of my hands. I'm okay with that because I did what I could do. Now it's up to what God can do. What a beautiful way to have to surrender. In the meantime, I will just keep praying. Just keep looking for healing that comes from no one else but God himself. Though, I can't say I felt instant relief, I feel I have reached the turning point. The part of this journey where I really learn to live by faith in Him alone.

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God who is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." -2 Corinthians 9:6-8

I have sowed my prayers, tears, and His promises. I have given all that I felt I was called to give. I have done what I felt God placed it in my heart to do and say. Now I wait to see what will grow. I have decided to give all that remains, however I can and where I can, to God. I pray in this season that this promise is fulfilled for the first of many times to come. So that in all things and at all times, having all that I need, I will abound in every good work.

You know what? I think it's going to be a beautiful garden.

Love,
S