Today is the one year
I know I'm currently working through some hard things but I also feel this call to post some light hearted things as well and what a better opportunity!? First of all, I can't believe I've been blogging for a year. It has been such a fulfilling and amazing journey. While I don't know who the 5365 alleged readers are to date (I'm sure half are probably just me checking the way the formatting came through, despite me blocking my own counts) - I'm so thankful to be able to reach an audience of friends, family and internet lovelies.
My blog has ebbed and flowed- sometimes being really gospel-y (can I make that a word?) and other times being just really raw and heartfelt. My goal with this blog has and will continue to be about sharing my journey and hopefully encouraging others. All glory to God. This is a judgement-free zone that I hope extends to those who read my blog.
I love having a place to speak my voice, to connect the dots of my thoughts, and to just share what I'm learning and living. It hasn't always been easy. I've lost several good friends in the past year who thought my words were directed at them. Who turned away in the moment that I needed them the most. But I've also been able to strengthen my relationships with others. The ones who stuck around through the brokenness. The ones who instead of running showed up at my house with dinner or sent texts and emails to check in on me. At the end of it all, I cherish both of those instances because they've helped shape me into the person God intends for me to be.
In the past year God has done an incredible work in me. Much to my dismay it didn't happen overnight but it happened just the way it needed to so it would stick. I'm so grateful for the friendships I've made, for the truths I've learned and for my opportunity to encourage and love others.
Another thing that has changed in this past year is my desires. I was so content working Monday through Friday, weekends and holidays off. It's wonderful and dreamy. But I now have these desires to do more. Not necessarily as a full time gig (at least not right now), but a dream to make art and inspire others. I've told several people this and I think it's a bit silly but it's the truth.... When I was in middle school and high school I loved art. But art wasn't 'cool' and it certainly wasn't a paying job. So I did what I could to overcome what my parents weren't able to. I graduated high school and then I went to college, majored in something honorable and 'close' to what I thought I wanted to do, and then graduated from that. After that I struggled to find a job. Mostly due to the economy but also because I didn't really want to work in public relations. To me I was more interested in marketing, promotions, event planning - that sort of thing.
But again, that's what I thought I wanted to do. Now I'm realizing my dream again of art. When I was in high school I wanted to make cards and stationary and then quietly reminded myself, no one sends letters anymore. Then meanwhile, while I was working and going to school full time- etsy was born. All of a sudden there was a market and a place for people like me to reach others. Then pinterest was born and now everyone's all up in my artsy-craftsy and it's cool again.
To be honest, I feel like I missed the boat. I feel like I'm too old to figure out how it all works now, to network and grow and dream and make things happen. But I'm still going to try. It is my goal to sell at least one piece of art by the end of this year, 2015.
So yes, this past year has been a journey for sure. Yes, I still cry and often. I still feel hurt and betrayed by some of the people that I loved and trusted the most. It still feels like a bad dream when I stop to think about it because one minute everything was fine and the next minute I was in the storm of my life. It hasn't been easy and I have no desire to go back. Yet, it's like climbing the top of a mountain or finishing a race, I'm so thankful for the progress I've made and I'm happy to say I made it a lot further than I imagined I would.
So THANK YOU for reading along with me this past year. For encouraging me and sticking around. Thanks for letting me pour out my heart into messy pieces all over the place even if we had just finished picking it up and putting it back together. Here's hoping year two has many more celebrations! I can't wait to see what the Lord has planned for me!
Also, in case you missed some of these posts or you just started following along, here's a mix of my most read or most favorite posts from the past year:
Discovering Grace (3/22)*
Moving Forward (7/25)
Where I'm Going (10/1)
Adoption; A Different Kind of Brave (11/22)
*ironic that I talk about storms of my life/century & cake in both my first post ever and todays? hmm... life needs more cake. ;)